Nervosity, Optimism and Relief

Nervosity tells what really matters to you

Optimism makes you unbreakable

With Relief comes alleviation, relaxation and gratitude

Took a while to finish this one

I was writing a post about the past in the last week. Then I discovered that it got too much into details again. In order not to let it disappear in the draft collection, it was reformatted and now you can see how the process of the thoughts went. There you go:

I think it is finally time to look back. The past and the present is shaping our future, especially the consciousnes about the past and the present. For this exercise, I would like to focus on the past. 

Take some time to think about your past. The way you should do it is exactly the opposite of how your time perception evolves normally as you age over time. Write your thoughts down. Take some time. Don't let yourself interrupted. Don't look at photos of the past, they make you focus too much on the picture and will make you miss things you would find out with your thoughts themselves.

A. Take 10 minutes to think about the first six years of your life (0 - 5 years old)

What are the feelings it gives you thinking about this time? 

What do you actually remember? What is the very first thing you remember of your life?

Picture your surrounding at that time.

Picture your family. 

Recall your friends.

Are you writing your thoughts down?

Picture yourself. How were you? How often did you cry?

What was the saddest moment in this time?

What was the happiest moment in this time?

What did you like? What did you dislike?

If you haven't used 10 minutes, go through the questions again. There is something you have skipped.

B. Take 15 minutes to think about the next five years of your life (6-10).

What are the feelings it gives you thinking about this time? 

What do you actually remember?

Which major events occured in this period? How did they influence you? Why did they influence you? 

Picture your surrounding at that time.

Picture your family. 

Recall your friends.

Picture yourself. How were you? Which characteristics were the strongest in you in this time?

What was the saddest moment in this time?

What was the happiest moment in this time?

What did you like? What did you dislike?`

Are you writing your thoughts down?

If you haven't used 15 minutes, go through the questions again. There is something you have skipped.

C. Take 20 minutes to think about the next five years of your life (11-15)

What are the feelings it gives you thinking about this time? 

What do you actually remember?

Which major events occured in this period? How did they influence you? Why did they influence you?

Picture your surrounding at that time.

Recall the most important people to you in this time.

Picture yourself. How were you? Which characteristics were the strongest in you in this time?

How are you different compared to 0-5 year old you?

How are you different compared to 6-10 year old you?

Why did you change?

What was the saddest moment in this time?

What was the happiest moment in this time?

Which activities were your favorite in this time?

Did you take big decisions in this period? How did they influence you?

If you haven't used 20 minutes, go through the questions again. There is something you have skipped.

D. Take a toilet break

E. Take 30 minutes to think about the next five years of your life (16-20)

What are the feelings it gives you thinking about this time? 

What do you actually remember?

Which major events occured in this period? Why did they influence you? How did they influence you? 

Picture your surrounding at that time.

Recall the most important people in this time.

Picture yourself. How were you? Which characteristics were the strongest in you in this time?

How are you different compared to 6-10 year old you?

How are you different compared to 11-15 year old you?

Why did you change?

Which activities were your favorite in this time?

What was the saddest moment in this time?

What was the happiest moment in this time?

Did you take big decisions in this period? How did they influence you?

If you haven't used 30 minutes, go through the questions again. There is something you have skipped.

F...

Repeat this for every 5 years of your life. Until the last year. 

Z. The last year

Take another 30 minutes for this one.

And now look at your notes, now you have a complete picture of your past. 

In my case I discovered that my present is a perfectly logic consequence of the past. There have been 2 major events and 3 major decisions which have had a huge influence. I lost contact to appr. 75% of the people which were important to me (although I lost contact to only appr. 25% of the important people in the last 5 years). My basic values have not really changed in the last 6 years. 

There is a lot more you can find out :) The purpose is to increase the awareness and understanding about yourself.

Click on this link if you're reading this on facebook (easier to read on the original blog): http://jihming.blogspot.com

Question:

Have you read / are you reading "Presence: Human Purpose and the Field of the Future"? Were you / are you also sometimes scared of continuing reading? Maybe it's not exactly being scared, but sometimes I have the feeling that it is too early for me to read this book. Sorry can't really describe the feeling.

Nevertheless, I like the book very much. The way it is written might not suit everyone, but the story-telling style is actually quite helpful for following the line of thoughts which the authors had.

I haven't finished it yet, it takes quite a while to read the book. Very often I need to stop, digest and reflect on what has been read. 

What are your thoughts on it?

"2 Months"..

..can mean so many things

2 Months..

..make you do the final spurt one more time

..make you live and enjoy time to the fullest

..make you think about good and bad times in the last 5 years

..make you being excited about the time to come

..make you wanting to stop time

..make you wanting to fast forward time :)

The gym

Today I went to work out a bit. It was good, should get into a routine. But for now, I decided to reward myself for taking the step into the gym again with the two following items:

Feldschlösschen

and awesome sausages from Taiwan

Feeling good these days :)

It is Sunday

Today was dedicated to resting and recovering. I spent the morning sleeping. The same happened with the first part of the afternoon. It is a pity that I cannot recall the dreams, I just remember that they were good and calm dreams.

Keep sleeping would have been nice, because half of the awake time today was used up by sneezing. Yes it is as annoying as it sounds. 1/2 of the time!!

Besides that, the day was very good. Doing nothing on a Sunday for the first time in 1.5 months feels like going on vacation in [fill in your favorite holiday destination].

....OK you got me, it was not exactly nothing, but almost nothing. The usual things like eating and brushing teeth need to be taken into account.

There was one matter which occupied me for a longer period: taking a long hot bath. Right after waking up, I took the strategic decision to invest the precious time into a revitalising hot tub. There were only two obstacles to overcome:

Obstacle 1: There is not enough hot water in our flat. Sad but true, this has always been a challenge. In the mornings, when you wake up the last in our flat, you need to be lucky to have anything but ice water for shower. It basically takes 2 showers to empty the tank of hot water in our place. The menace threatening my bath got even worse when I found out that my flat mate had showered earlier today. Don't panic! Knowing this challenge, I developed a 3 step plan:

1. Fill the bath tub with what is left in the tank.
2. Think what to do next.
3. Cook 5 big pots of boiling water and fill the bath tub with them. Actually I used only 4 at the beginning and kept one as refill when the water got colder.

Obstacle 2: I don't have Badedas. If you don't know what Badedas is: Click here. If you have used Badedas, you understand the problem: Badedas is probably the best bubble bath ever! And after getting used to Badedas, you don't want to use anything else. After a very short period of desparation, I decided that it is time to be courageous! So finally the ingredients which replaced Badedas were: Rexona activshower, Weleda citrus creme douche, Nivea energy, Soft & Gentle Dusch-Gel and Flair Silk Bath. It turned out to be a good mix :)

The bath was great: listening to chillout music and reading a book about Libra (my zodiac sign). It was surprisingly accurate in describing me.

Soon after the bath it was time for dinner. And after dinner, I was sitting there and suddenly had the urge to make some music. It might be because José and me were singing a certain song conntected to T-Pain and a boat for around 5 times..or it might be just because I hadn't played piano for at least 3 months. So I took my keyboard out of the dusty cover and conntected the ac adapter...BUUUUUUT no electricity!!! This time, all creativity was useless. The adapter is broken and there is nothing which can be used instead of it. And shops are not open on Sundays.. 

It did annoy me a bit at the beginning, but maybe my keyboard just wanted me to keep doing nothing, and that's what I'm doing now :)

How to cope with last times?

EuroXpro was one great last international conference for me. You remember the moments at every conference which make it special for you? Yes there were some of those in Romania as well, some very good ones.

-Great opening ceremony

-Seeing the new MC team getting ready

-Good talks with old friends

-Good talks with new friends

-More talks about @ and also other stuff

-The Travel Smurf

-The invitation into probably the best nordic circle I've been part of

-The LEGEN...wait for it...DARY "I've never ever" 

-Random moments like "她胸部好大"

-That evening plenary with the highest entertainment factor

-The closing

-Two days in Bucharest

-The interview by a radio station

-The journey back which proved to me that I'm a pro in being right on time and the master of efficiency

The last international conference was amazing. Thank you to everyone who has made it a great experience for me.

Now, you look at the title and think, there has to be a "but", right? And yes, there is. Do not worry, I wont come to the conclusion that I should not leave AIESEC yet. No, I'm talking about the many lasts which are happening now and which are coming in the next three months. To be honest, I don't want to think too much about "oooohh, this is my last international conference", or "Oh...this is going to be my last KICK OFF", anyway DO IT was always my preferred conference, dunno why :P 

But back to the topic: I don't want to think too much about the lasts because I want to be fully in my role until it ends. At the same time, of course they are last times in my AIESEC time and this makes them special. I think the best is to dive into these last moments and enjoy them to the fullest. Because with last times you know only one thing for sure: There wont be a next time.